The closet door is shouldered open. "Can someone give me a hand before I drop these?" calls Enzo.

"Dot?" Enzo calls (at a reasonable indoor volume, thank you), emerging from the hall closet. "Where's the icon you got for Annabelle? She's ready to visit."

As the group disperses, Enzo grimaces and rubs at his left shoulder. He rolls it a bit; nothing feels pulled or damaged, but he's going to be sore for the rest of the day.

"Hey, E!" Balun gives a wave as Enzo enters the room.

"Hey, Balun. Hey, Caret. How was vacation?"

"Pretty good," replies Caret, taller and apparently skinnier than ever. "I went to the data slides a lot, and I made a logical map of ARPANET out of spaghetti code."

"Caret..."

"What?"

"Nothing. How about yours, E?"

"Good. I visited Dani at her, uh, new place. It was pretty rad. Oh, and guess what? AndrAIa's pregnant!"

"Dude!" Balun leans forward excitedly. "You mean her boobs are gonna get even bigger?"

"Whose boobs?" asks a voice from the doorway. Enzo spins around to see a lanky boy, perhaps a few minutes older than him, with peach skin and long hair a little too red to let him pass as a human.

"Hey!" calls Balun. "You must be the noob."

The noob in question grins. "Brilliant deduction, dear roommate! What gave it away? The luggage, or the face you've never met be before?" The grand effect is rather spoilt when he adds eagerly, "So, whose boobs are getting bigger?"

"Enzo's sister-in-law the Game sprite," Balun replies happily. "Scha-wing."

Enzo narrows his eyes at Balun. "Because she's having a baby, dipswitch."

"So you're Enzo Matrix?" the redhead queries. "Congratulations to your sister-in-law, then," he continues without pausing for a response. Shuffling into the room with his bags, he glances around. "So which bunk is mine?"

Enzo blinks. "Uh... yeah." Frankly, by now he's accustomed to being stared, whispered, and fan-flailed at for the first second or so of term. Casual acknowledgement is a bit disconcerting.

"You're above Balun," Caret fills the newcomer in.

"That's me," adds Balun. "He's Caret Gibson-Irvine. You won't notice him until he says something weird." Caret nods in solemn agreement.

Feeling the need to recoup some sort of loss, Enzo puts in, "Balun's the campus bookie, and he just got his driving certificate so he'll probably be deleted within the minute."

"If I go, I'm takin' you with me!"

The newcomer slings his bags up onto his bunk. "Nice to meet you guys, I'm J-"

"JOSEPH!" a female voice hollers from somewhere outside. "Where in the freaking Web did you get to?"

Joseph heaves a sigh, sticks his head out the door, and bellows, "My room, Amy, where do you think? D5!"

"Yes, and how am I supposed to know that?" One can almost see the mystery sprite's eyes rolling, and her voice grows louder as she approaches. "I was supposed to be following you, remember?"

"Well, why didn't you?"

"Because I had to find my own room!"

"Excuses, excuses..."

"Brat."

"Dipswitch."

"You love me anyway," comes the response. "Seriously, how am I supposed to follow you when I can barely see what's going on in front of me?" With that, a large stack of boxes with legs appears at the doorway. "Not to mention the fact you rushed off while I had to dodge through the other students."

"Some packmule you are."

Balun's eyebrows are raised to maximum. "Sister?"

"Best friend." Joseph makes a round of introductions.

"Charmed. A little help here?" The pile of boxes wobbles.

Everyone but Joseph hastens to take a box, revealing that there is, indeed, a sprite behind them. The red-skinned girl rolls her eyes at Joseph. "Way to help me out, dearest friend of mine."

"You're a Guardian now. You can't afford to let me coddle you."

Her brows rise. "What do you call my carying your stuff for you?"

"A favour?"

"I'll show you favour," the growls Amy, advancing on her friend.

Enzo interrupts hastily. "What's in all these boxes, anyway?"

"My workshop equipment," Joseph replies joyfully, happy for the interruption. "I couldn't very well leave home without it, now could I?"

"What kind of equipment?" asks Caret.

"My chemistry set, a microscope, a few circuitry projects, a simple physics engine..."

"If he starts flailing," adds Amy, "if you value your eyebrows, duck."

Enzo and Balun exchange a look, and Enzo grins. "And I thought we were gonna be bored without Hugh."

"Good evening, I'm Tiffany Snow! Tonight's top story: Amity Park's own ghost-girl, Danielle Fenton, better known as Dani Phantom, and an unknown boy are currently toilet papering our very own Action News studio! For more on this breaking story, we go to Lance Thunder! Lance?"

"—a weatherman, why do I always have toooooo Tiffany! As you can see, the 'TP-ing' is well underway, and large portions of the building, the surrounding trees, and yours truly have already been draped in bathroom tissue. Assisting our ghostly prankster is the same unidentified boy who was sighted in the company of the Fenton family during and after the 'Phantom Planet' incident. Excuse me, young man! Would you mind introducing yourself to our viewers?"

"Uhhhhh, hi! I'm Enzo."

"And do you have a last name?"

"Yes."

[pause]

"Of course. Should've seen that one coming. And what is your connection to Miss Fenton, Enzo?"

"I'm her boyfriend!"

"Well! A lot of our younger viewers will be disappointed to hear that! Heh-heh-heh!"

"They better be."

"Riiiiight. So, Enzo. Since the events of several months ago, no one has been able to come forward with any clues to your identity, except for a few hoaxers. Care to shed any light on the matter?"

"I'm... not from around here."

"The inquiries were made worldwide."

"I'm not from around there, either."

[pause]

"You're... not from anywhere in the world? Are you telling us you're from the Ghost Zone, Enzo?"

"Actually, I'm from a different universe."

"Of course you are."

"I mean it!"

"I see. And how did you get to this universe, then?"

"I, uh... ... ... Jack Fenton ripped open a portal by accident. It landed right in my closet."

"Like the infamous Ghost Portal?"

"Nah, this one's a lot more random. Since he started it, it kind of opens when it wants. That's why no one can find it, so don't bother trying. The, uh... stars have to be right."

"Fascinating. Now, what is—"

"DANIELLE FENTON, YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW!"

"Whoops, gotta jet!"

"Well, there you have it! Straight from the extradimensional horse's mouth. Bad luck, boys of Earth! Back to you, Tiffany."

"Thanks, Lance. It certainly looks like April Fools' Day has come late this year. On Wall Street today..."

Enzo leads the way in through the closet.

He is not looking forward to this. At all.

What's the worst they could react?

That might be a more comforting thought if he didn't immediately start imagining the answer.

Enzo ushers Arnold in through what will turn out to be the upstairs hall closet.

"So, this is our house." Looks fairly normal so far. "That's Bob and Dot's room there, and this is mine. There's the guest room, at least, it is for now, they're turning it into Mairi's room but you can still use it for now..."

"Congratulations, Hugh!"

"Thanks, kid." Enzo's soon-to-be-ex-roommate is resplendent, or at least shiny, in his new full Guardian's dress uniform. "Guess this means I'm a responsible adult now, huh?"

"I wouldn't go that far," Balun protests.

"Well, I can spoof it if I have to."

"I'm gonna miss rooming with you," Enzo tells him.

Caret nods. "It'll be very different without you."

"I know, but try not to get too bored. And you can come visit, as long as I'm doin' time at the Port Authority."

They all agree that this will definitely happen as soon as possible.

"And now, if you'll excuse me..." He taps his icon, changing into a suit, t-shirt, and a tie decorated with hula binomes. "Our former Moderator owes me a date."

* * * * * *
"E, you're sure you don't want us to turn the light off?"

"No, it's cool." Enzo is lying on his bunk, but he's not sleeping. He's practising his meditation-breathing while engaging in a staring contest with the mask on his wall. He's still not sure how to get rid of it without drawing more attention. But if it has to stay, he is determined to deal with it. He will not let it rule him. He will kick its nonexistent butt.

Sounds of conversation and laughter filter in through the door, heralding the grads' return from the after-party. Enzo gives the mask one last glare and sits up as the door swings open.

Everyone whistles, even Caret.

Ina Jo was as good as her word. She said she would dress in inverse proportion to Hugh's final exam scores. She's wearing a zip-front dress, and (as Hugh will later inform them) she applied his grades to it by way of a simple algorithm and a tape measure.

She happens to be the bustiest girl in school.

Hugh passed with flying colours.

Balun makes a slight, strangled noise.

"That was... surprisingly enjoyable," Ina Jo informs Hugh with a smile.

"Hey, don't go seducing me in front of the youngsters," Hugh chides her.

"I was particularly impressed by the way you were able to keep up perfectly intelligent conversation all evening without once removing your eyes from my chest."

"It's a gift," he says modestly.

"Unfortunately, it really is. I think I crashed most of the other boys." She rolls her eyes and turns her attention to the gawping cadets. "Yeah, all right, enjoy it while it lasts."

"Can I take a picture?" Balun asks hopefully.

"It won't be much use to you with a broken wrist," she informs him sweetly.

"Yes'm."

"I'm glad you had a good date," says Caret, blinking his eyes back into their sockets.

"Yeah," Enzo agrees with a sickly little smile.

Ina Jo raises an eyebrow at him. "Are you still pining?"

"No, now he's mooning," Balun corrects.

Enzo squawks indignantly. "I never—!"

"It's like pining, but mopier."

"Oh." Enzo subsides. "Okay."

"Poor kid." She looks sympathetic. "How long is it since she moved?"

"A whole minute."

"Ouch. C'mon, come here..." She beckons, and he obediently climbs down from his bunk. "Come here," she repeats, and gives him a comforting and extremely cushiony hug.

The other boys stare at them with a certain solemnity. Hugh stage-whispers to Balun, "I don't feel sorry for him at all."

"Amp off," Ina Jo says over Enzo's head.

"I saw my date cuddling another guy," Hugh persists. "Where's my sympathy hug?"

"Take a number."

"Okay, I'll take a dozen, to go."

"Amp off."

Enzo pelts through the utility tunnels, boots echoing down the narrow corridors, not caring if he gets caught.

He slams open the hatch in the restroom floor, gets stared at by everyone in the lounge as he exits (slamming the door behind him), races upstairs to his empty room, slams the door, climbs to his bunk, snatches the mask off the wall, jumps back down, stomps into the bathroom, slams that door, and locks it.

In his head, he's calling Cal every bad word he can think of, including the ones he's learned in Milliways and a few he makes up on the spot.

He liked Cal. He's tried to be like a backup son when Cal needed one. And now, now he says he...

This isn't like what Cal did. It's not like overheating, either. It's just a way to

calm down

As soon as the mask goes on, Enzo's breathing begins to steady and slow. The tears take a little longer to go, because they've already built up behind his eyes, and they collect at the edge of the mask's eyeholes and trickle down the smooth white surface.

The anger and hurt dissolve. The mask overrides any emotions but its own.

It would be bliss, except he can't feel that either.



Without the more intense feelings pulling the knots of his mind tight, he can pick them apart and examine each thread of thought.

• Cal used to do drugs. But he doesn't anymore. He hasn't since I met him, if he was telling the truth.


• If I'm his backup son, then he's like my... redundant father. He acts like one. He was trying to help me.


• I bet I hurt him pretty bad when I shouted at him. I should probably apologize.


• The first thing I did when I got upset was come back here to use the mask. I didn't even think about it. Cal's probably right. I should apologize about that, too.


• I should probably stop using it, then.


• All right.

He removes the mask.

In the sudden wave of horror, remorse, and self-loathing, he barely gets the toilet seat up in time.

Exams have been going okay. It helps that when it comes to the actual test, he's being asked specific questions. He can keep his mind in one place enough for that.

After all, he can't very well wear it in the classroom.

The combat tests were fine, too. Swimming thoughts and feelings don't keep you from punching or throwing. If you can keep your hands steady enough to shoot, you're clear. You can make your raging emotions work for you, in fact, place your enemies' faces or your own upon the targets, channel the hurt and guilt and confusion into every kick and judo throw.

You might want something to settle you down afterward, of course. That's only sensible.



Tomorrow is his last exam. Game Genres. He's not worried about this one at all, actually. Games are his thing. He knows the material backwards. He'd probably be fine without studying at all.



That wouldn't be responsible, though. Much better to give it one last review, just to be sure.



One last, calm, collected review.

Yeah.

And it'll all be over after that.

He should tell someone. Dot, or Bob, or maybe one of the Academy faculty.

("It what? You've got to get rid of it, Enzo! Bring it here right away, we'll dispose of it safely.")

He should ask Hex about it.

("Oh, I know. Boring, isn't it? I have so many more interesting ones. I can't think why you'd want to use the silly thing.")

It messed with his head.

(It let him relax.)

It totally spaced him out.

(He's never had such an easy time concentrating on his work.)

It's viral code.

(So's what brought back Dad.)

It looks ridiculous. He's only lucky he had his back to Caret before. If he did use it and anyone were to see him, crushing embarrassment would be only the start, even if it weren't a creepy mind-controlling viral artifact. People would ask him questions, and think him random, and shun him in the halls or, worse, pity him...

Even if it's totally harmless, nothing good could possibly come of using it.

(It felt so peaceful.)

* * * * * *

"E? Are you in there?"

"Yes." Enzo's voice is muffled. You just can't talk in these things.

"What'd you do, fall in?"

"I'm fine, Balun."

"Huh?"

Right, there's a door in the way, too. Enzo removes the mask so he can speak more clearly. "I said I'm... unnnnnh..."

"E?"

"Sorry, I... I feel a little funny."

"Well, yeah, dude, that's what happens when you don't eat."

"Uhh. Yeah. Thanks. I'll be out in a nano."

He rubs his face, then gathers up his TXTbooks and arranges them in his hands to hide the mask from view.

It feels good while it lasts, but the downer afterward is a killer.

Enzo sits on his bunk in the empty dorm room, staring at and through his Chemistry TXT.

It's not just the studying thing. He knows the material, he's... almost certain. It's the way his insides feel tied up in knots, and his thoughts are going nowhere at a million pixels a nanosecond. It's the way he'll sometimes think about her and feel wonderful, or just maybe scrape together enough of his brain to do some work for a while, and then it all crashes. It's the way he wouldn't feel so bad, except that he feels bad about feeling bad, and then he ends up feeling bad about that.

The room is wonderfully cool from the fans Hugh deployed to aid in his own studies. For him, love (or at least hormones) is providing a most effective inspiration, and he seems to be making up for all his earlier slacking in one frenzied burst.

The cold should focus Enzo's thoughts, but it just makes them whirl faster.

His emotions are totally out of his control.

He wonders if this is what Hex feels like.

His gaze turns to the mask on the wall. When she gave it to him, she said it was one of her own faces. Its expression is one of total serenity. Clearly, it wasn't one she was using much in the first place.

Its surface is porcelain-smooth under his fingers.

If he were Hex, he could just change his face (the room vanishes, then reappears as the eyeholes line up) and just like that, he'd

calm down

and then he could put all those other troublesome emotions aside for the time being, like so.

Funny how playing make-believe can help take your mind off things. You can almost fool yourself, sometimes. He doesn't feel nearly as wretched as he did a moment ago.

That's nice.

He should probably get some work done while it lasts.

* * * * * *
"Enzo?" says a voice from the doorway behind him.

"Hi, Caret," he tells his roommate without turning around. He's on a roll with this review session.

"Hi. You missed dinner."

"I did?" Oh, yes. He is very hungry. He should probably do something about that sometime soon. He scrolls to the next page.

"Uh-huh. Have you been here all afternoon?"

"Yeah. I've been studying."

"Does that mean you're feeling better?"

"I think so."

"Good. We were worried. Why is your mask gone?" Caret always notices details.

"It's not. I've got it." He pulls it off his face and holds it up so Caret can see it and he won't have to stop... stop... have to...

Dani where are you I'm such a mess code I'm so selfish you handled it so much better you're amazing I'm the luckiest sprite in the 'Net so why do I feel so rotten

"Enzo?" Caret rushes forward in alarm as the younger boy almost topples off his bunk. "Are you all right?"

"I'm... I'm fine," Enzo manages, dropping the mask. "Just a little dizzy. Maybe I've been sitting here too long. Yeah, that's it."

"You should access some food," Caret tells him sternly. "The cafeteria's closed file, but I have some cookies if you need them."

"Good idea," Enzo says, grateful for the cover. "I mean, just one. Thanks, Caret."

As he backs down the bunk ladder, he stares at the mask in consternation.

At least now he has something new to think about.

"Kid, you haven't scrolled for at least eight nanos."

Enzo utters a soft groan and flops sideways onto the sofa in the D-floor commons, pushing aside his TXTbook as he falls. "I can't concentrate!"

Hugh, lying sideways across an armchair and playing with a string array, gives Enzo his best sympathetic look, but it's not terribly sincere. "Dani still busy?"

"Yeah. You know. Settling in and stuff."

"Yeah. Look, it's only been a second. You've gone without seeing her longer than this before."

"I know. I just..."

"She's harder to reach, I know. It's not like she left the Supercomputer, though. She's just in another city, you can still see each other sometimes. And you said yourself her new digs are way better."

Enzo nods morosely. "It's just hard to get used to."

Hugh stretches himself nearly horizontal so that he can reach to pat Enzo on the shoulder. "Chin up, bud. At least you've got yours." He says this rather louder than strictly necessary.

Ina Jo, working with her door open as befits a moderator, sighs. She gets up from her desk, stomps out into the common area, and folds her arms, which is not a gesture calculated to discourage him.

"You," she informs Hugh, "have done nothing but pester me this entire term."

"That's not true!" he protests, pointing a finger in the air without getting up. "Sometimes I've badgered you."

"To the exclusion of studying."

Hugh blows his lips out in a dismissive raspberry. "Ahh, studying's for responsible sprites."

"You're never going to pass the finals."

"So I've heard." He doesn't look happy, though.

Ina Jo is silent for a moment.

Then: "There are other well-endowed girls in this Academy, you know. And out in the city."

"I know."

"You don't seem to be harassing them."

"Nope."

She gives him a piercing look and more silence. He raises his eyebrows back at her.

Finally, she says, "If we both graduate—this term—then I will let you escort me to the after-party."

Hugh's fingers get tangled in his string array. He sits up, or tries to; his legs over the arm of the chair make it difficult. "Seriously?"

She nods. "Out of uniform and everything."

Hugh, unable to resist a straight line, waggles his eyebrows. "How far out of uniform?"

Ina Jo leans over and pats him gently on the cheek. "That," she says, "depends on your grades."

"Administrator Rijndael, sir?" The secretary pokes his head in the door to the Academy head's office. "We've got Cadet Matrix on an intersystem vidwindow. He took a day trip home today."

"Well? It's his cycle off, that's his prerogative. What of it?"

"He's asking for permission to remain in Mainframe for a few cycles. Says he'll catch up on work when he gets back."

The elderly Guardian eyes the binome dubiously. "What's he want off for?"

The secretary coughs. "Maternity leave, sir."

Flowers? Check.

Candy? Check.

Snazzy suit? Check.

Restaurant address? Check.

Organic body? Check.

Heart pounding so hard he can feel his pulse in his thumbs? Check.


*knock-knock-knock*

"Dani? You ready?"

"Do-o-ot, hurry up, we'll be late!" oh, no, no, not again

"Enzo, I'll be finished a lot quicker without you pestering me," says his sister, so put-upon, trying to oversee construction of her first independent business and she still has to look after her pesty baby brother.

"But Dad's experiment!" i haven't dreamed about it for ages, i don't want to, make it go away

"We've got plenty of time," Dot says reassuringly, glancing at her organizer. "It's only... oh, no!" Instantly, she switches into high gear. "Jimmy, take over! We're late! I'll be back ASAP!"

Even though he's the one who alerted her to the time, she practically drags him to the car, and they leap into the air, taking the fastest legal route across the binome city and over the bridge to spriteside. no, we didn't

As they land in front of the coliseum, it's obvious they must have missed the beginning, but they race in to catch what they can and offer moral support. we never even made it to the car, that's why we're alive

It looks like Dad survived giving his speech, at least, and the Q&A. He looks a little harried, and Dot slumps ashamedly, but Prof. Matrix spots her entering and smiles before continuing with the initialization.

Dot tugs on Enzo's hand to lead him to their reserved seats; Enzo tugs back. we weren't here, we shouldn't be here, it's going to go wrong, we have to get out of here

"Enzo!" she hisses. "He's about to do it! Don't you want a good view?"

"No!" He starts to cry. "No, I don't wanna, I don't wanna!"

"Enzo, what's the matter with you?" She drags him down the aisle. He strains against her until his arm hurts, but he's not even 01 yet and there's nothing he can do but cry and scream "we gotta go we gotta leave WE GOTTA LEAVE" but no one hears him, not even his sister and now he's in his seat gripping the armrests in terror and the Gateway fills with quicksilver and it starts to spin and he can't look away

and there's someone standing in the middle

it's a virus he knows it's a virus but it doesn't look like a virus

it looks like a User

it's smiling at him

"Hey, kid." The man winks. "Hope you like your birthday present. Sorry it's early."

then there's nothing but noise and light




He doesn't even notice his roommates shouting at him in alarm until Caret climbs the bunk ladder and puts a hand over his mouth to stop him screaming.

"♩♯♩♬♪♫♯♫♩..."

Balun, who's been bending further and further over his homework in an attitude of fierce concentration, growls. "Can you please stop humming?!"

Enzo starts. "Hmmmm? Sorry, was I humming?"

"I liked it," Caret says without looking up.

The older boy rolls his eyes and pushes his chair back. "What's with you lately, E?"

"I guess I'm just in a good mood."

"A plain old good mood doesn't make everyone else want to barf. Daemon infect you or something?"

"She couldn't have done that. She's deleted."

"Sarcasm, Caret. It's called sarcasm."

Hugh pushes open the door to their room, rubbing at a small bruise on his forehead.

"Hey, man. Make another pass at Ina Jo?"

"Yeah, she had her clipboard on her this time. You'd think I'd learn. What's processing here?"

"We were just discussing what Enzo's been on lately and why he isn't sharing."

"Good question." Hugh walks over to Enzo and bends down to peer thoughtfully into his face. He examines his eyes, pushing away the skin above and below.

"Quit it!" Enzo tries to dodge; Hugh grabs his chin as he exclaims and has a look at his tongue.

"Looks healthy enough," he declares as Enzo swats at him.

"He's probably in love," Caret muses, typing something.

Enzo makes a small squeaking sound; the older roommates look amused.

"We know that," Balun points out. "We've known that for ages. He shouldn't be having symptoms now."

"Did you ever tell him?"

One of the best things to do in Autobase is, of course, explore. Particularly in places you're not entirely sure you're allowed in.

"What's through here... oh, cool!" It's a vehicle bay, capacious as everything in Autobase, housing mostly Jeeps with the occasional Humvee.

Enzo, Dani, and Bonzo phase cautiously through the door to DOStin's room. "No one home," Enzo whispers happily, stepping all the way in. "We oughta be okay for a while, his roommates said they'd keep him busy."

Tone and Value are already in the garage when Enzo and Dani resume visibility behind a car. The two older sprites are hiding as well, but with less reason. They also appear to be wearing makeshift ninja attire.

"Hi, Dani!" calls Tone. "Here to help your guy wreak terrible vengeance?"